Happy Caravanning 

As the season starts to take off and sites that have been quiet all winter suddenly wake up. The hustle and bustle of the holidays takes hold of caravanning families across the country. 

We have a reasonably sized ‘van for the two of us but being inside such a confined space it’s important to have a few rules to help keep the peace inside and outside the ‘van. 

Bacon of some sort is needed at least once at breakfast. Whether it’s on two slices of bread or as part of a ‘full English’, it is obligatory. No holiday is complete without bacon. The big question is ketchup or brown sauce? Brown sauce every time for me. 

Calories do not count in the caravan. Nobody ever goes on holiday and diets. From the minute we’ve snaffled the bacon in the morning it’s a downward spiral. Fish and chips at the beach. Cup of tea and a slice of cake or a mid afternoon cream tea. The obligatory BBQ in the evening, steak, burgers, chicken all washed down with a drop of something medicinal. 

Lights are a must. Solar fairy lights inside and out of the caravan. Solar lights marking out our pitches. Flag posts lit up like Blackpool Tower, flashing a loop of various colours. It’s like Christmas all year round. Little bit like marmite, you either love them or hate them. For me, 2 small solar lightbulbs hung on my canopy and fairy lights and bunting in my bedroom will do nicely. 

Shoes,are not allowed beyond the welcome mat inside the caravan. Unless of course you’re the one keeping them clean. 

Bathroom, always make sure I’m the first to use it in a morning, especially if we’re using our own shower. I’m like a bear with a sore head until I’m clean. 

Music, not having a TV, music is an important part of our holidays. The enjoyment starts before we go, choosing the tracks of our years for when Radio 2 no longer satisfies or gives us a DJ we aren’t keen on. We keep the music within our pitch, remembering our idea of music could be your idea of noise.

Toilet etiquette. Number 1’s only in the caravan. Having to do the walk of shame to the toilet block for number 2’s. Even worse on some European sites were you have to take your own loo roll to the toilet block – let’s tell the world what I’m going for. I’d never go in a cubicle next to an already occupied one if I can help it. Please, if the toilet block is empty, don’t choose the cubicle next to mine. 

Chemical Disposal is normally a job for The Boss. On the odd occasion , and it is a rarity, that I tramp across the caravan site in my camping fashionable crocs to the disposal please don’t chat to me as I’m walking, even worse is when someone insists on passing the time of day as I swill out the contents of the cassette trying not to splash. 

Windows or doors are left open. Please pull the fly screen across. Nothing worse than being cooped up with a bad tempered wasp or a balmy blue bottle. 

Our last rule is to get out there, enjoy our time together and make memories.